In a Fix
by LadyErisnos
Summary: Hiei and Kurama are sparring and get themselves into a sticky situation. Short and funny. Rated for language and adult situation.


**Author's Note**: _This one has been in my head for years. I mean that literally. I just never wrote it down until now. So here it is for everyone to enjoy. If you want to skip the preliminaries and get to the good stuff go ahead. I won't be offended. Also, I don't write fight scenes very often so it will be brief and to the point. Have at it my minions!_

**Disclaimer**: _As much as I wish I did, NO, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, it's sexy characters, or the little blue thing sitting on Yuske's head._

Yuske's group had been at the Dark Tournament for a while now. Hiei and Kurama decided to spar together for the sake of sparring together. Practicing on your own had its advantages, but a fighter was always sharper with an actual opponent in front of him. They made their way through the wooded area until they could hear the ocean and, began a quick round of stretches before jumping straight into the fist fest.

Block. Kick. Dodge. Roundhouse. Jump. Evade. Attack.

Both fighters were fairly equal in strength, their speed matched each other's well. They were blurs running and jumping and spinning all over and through the forest bursting out of the forest onto one of the many rocky cliffs over looking the sea.

Jump. Punch. Flip em the bird. Run. Chase. Grapple. Dodge.

Their fighting took them all the way down one of the cliffs and spanned across the rocks that jutted out of the surface at low tide. The slippery surfaces added an element of danger to their sparring practice.

Kurama flipped backwards to avoid one of Hiei's attacks and landed near to the cliff wall momentarily losing his balance. Hiei took advantage of this and quickly charged his opponent delivering an attack with both fists. Kurama's eyes widened in surprise as he struggled to maintain his balance and thwart the attack at the same time.

Hiei crashed, arms extended, into the cliff wall behind Kurama. His arms were buried up to his elbows in solid rock. He couldn't move at all. This was not the only problem however. If it were, then this fic. would not be in the humor section.

Kurama, while evading his opponent's attack had gotten stuck between Hiei and the stone wall. Due to a lack of proper footing, and general immobility, both fighters were stuck in a very awkward position.

Just then, Kuwabara happened by on the cliff above Hiei and Kurama. He was aware that somebody (or somebodies) was near by due to the whole I-sense-spirit-energy-thing he always has going on, but he was puzzled as to why he could not see them. Just then he heard voices. Both of them male and pissed.

"What the fuck are you doing!"

"Me? You think this is my fault?"

"Get off of me!"

"I can't. I'm stuck."

"Can't you just yank or something? You got in easily enough."

"…got any bright ideas?"

"Well you pull and I'll push."

'sigh' "Ok. Here goes."

"Oh fuck! Stop, that hurts!"

"How else do you expect to get out, you baby? It's not like I'm happy about the position we're in."

"WELL IT HURTS."

"Since when do YOU care about pain you masochist."

"…"

"Yeah that's what I thought."

Kuwabara was about to beat it into the woods, but he stayed sensing a familiarity to the voices. It is said curiosity killed the cat, which always pissed Kuwabara off because of his great love for the small furries. But he just _had_ to know who these voices belonged to or he would forever wonder.

"What part of _I'm stuck_ don't you understand?"

"WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DAMMIT."

"Ok. Ok."

A round of grunting ensued.

"GAHHH!"

"Ok. That didn't work."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Dig deeper Watson."

"After you."

"No. By all means, after YOU."

Kuwabara looked over the cliff, but due to the immense overhang could not see anything worth a damn. Slowly he crept around to where the land sloped lower to the sea and carefully began to climb down to the rocks below. He might have jumped but he didn't want to make any noise. He made his way back towards where the voices were coming from and eventually he heard them again.

"Well that didn't work either."

"I am going to need a shitload of painkillers after this."

"I'm going to need therapy. Look who's talking."

"Maybe if you move a little lower and try to slide out…"

"Gad. I really don't want to be in that position."

snort "Look who's complaining now."

"Fine! Fine! I'll do it."

There was a rustle of clothing and bodies and more grunts of discomfort and possible pain. There was a yelp and a thumpish noise followed by the sound of falling rocks.

"Are you trying to kill us? No way am I going to die like this."

"Oh shut up. This is better than before right? Maybe I can pull on you from here."

"That will have the same effect as last time."

"Will not."

"Can't you try something different?"

"Nothing that won't 'hurt'" The voice was mocking the other.

"Shut the fuck up."

Kuwabara slowly edged further towards the voices. It sounded now like they were right around the corner.

"On three k?"

"…"

"One."

"…"

"Two."

"…"

yank

This was followed by a menagerie of cursing that left Kuwabara mildly impressed. He took this as his chance to look, now that the two people seemed to be distracted. He peeked around the corner and the sight that he beheld was one that would be forever seared upon his memory.

Kurama and Hiei were both on ground, tangled up in each other with a large cloud of rock dust and mud falling around them.

"You're on top of me again," Kurama growled. "Get off."

"I was never on top of you in the first place. We were standing up."

"Same difference."

"Oh fuck you. And that wasn't a decent 'three' you bastard. Even I know how to count."

"You would have squealed at me to stop."

"FUCK YOU."

"No thanks. I can take care of myself."

It was at that point both the red haired fox boy and the three eyed demon realized they were being watched. Kuwabara stood a couple of yards away, mouth agape. Just then, somebody found 20$ and they all spontaneously combusted.

THE END

**Author's Note**: You likey? I did. It's not quite as funny as the original conversation I had with myself in my screwed up head, but it is close enough to get the general idea. I know it was little bit out of character for…well all of them. But it amuses me. 'skips away singing about pineapples'


End file.
